


Total Drama All Stars Revamped

by KrispyBaconator



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: AU, Fix Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22932472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrispyBaconator/pseuds/KrispyBaconator
Summary: After Chris manages to actually avoid arrest after the finale of Revenge of the Island, a domino effect occurs that causes Pahkitew Island to happen BEFORE All Stars. Now 22 campers rife with unresolved drama are brought back to the newly-cleaned Camp Wawanakwa to compete for the ultimate cash prize, bringing back some of the strongest players and audience favorites in a battle of the series' most good-natured heroes vs some of the most devious villains. (Basically an AU where All Stars now features Pahkitew Island characters and is also not terrible hopefully)
Relationships: Jasmine/Shawn (Total Drama), Mike/Zoey (Total Drama), ditto for Dave and Sky, im gonna talk about Gwen Duncan and Courtney but its not really gonna be very shippy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Heroes vs Villains: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ultimate All-Star season begins as 22 of the best and beloved campers are brought to the newly-cleaned Camp Wawanakwa and get organized into Heroes and Villains, though some may be more accepting of their title than others.

**Prologue**

Chris thrashed about as he tried to comprehend what had just happened. He had sent the thirteen campers and Chef off in a boat after Cameron received his million dollars. Then, in an effort to give the teens one last surprise, he had rigged their boat with a non-lethal explosive. At least, he thought he did. But apparently, Chef, in revenge for something Chris couldn’t imagine (was it the go karts? No, it couldn’t be) had placed it under where the dock was previously.

He tried his best to save face, flashing a winning smile to the camera. “Until next time, I’m Chris McLean, and this has been.. Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!”

“ _You’re busted, McLean!_ ”

The unfamiliar voice snapped Chris out of host mode. He whipped around in the water, and he could now see dozens of men in hazmat suits glaring down at him, as two helicopters descended onto Camp Wawanakwa.

“Huh!? For what!?”

“Creating an environmental disaster, that’s what!” the apparent leader yelled at him. “Residents of Wawanakwa! This island is now under government protection! You’re hereby quarantined. Prepare for heavy scrub decontamination!”

* * *

That was the beginning of the _worst_ three months of Chris McLean’s life.

The first month? The quarantine. Chris was stuck on the island, being scrubbed _constantly_ for what seemed like ages.

The second month was his trial, even if the actual hearing only lasted a day. Chris’s lawyers convinced him to plead guilty, and he ended up getting sentenced to a year in prison.

This was so unfair! He only rented the island out to a research organization that only seemed _kinda_ sketchy! It wasn’t like he was the one who dumped all that radioactive gunk all over a summer camp.

That was the third month: prison. Thankfully, it was only a month and not a full year like he was originally sentenced, but that one month was still grueling. All he had to entertain himself with were the cockroaches that infested his cell. He ended up creating challenges for them like he would the contestants of Total Drama, but it turned out that cockroaches were much harder to motivate into competing against and backstabbing each other.

Once his first month in prison was done, Chef finally came to visit.

“Well, well, well,” Chris eyed his co-host suspiciously. “Took you long enough.”

“Can it, Chris,” Chef cut him off. “I got good news for you. Your charges got repealed.”

Chris’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what? How?”

“Apparently, the research company came forward and got you off the hook,” Chef explained. His eyes darted side to side. “If you ask me, whole thing’s kinda funky. What kinda company were you dealing with?”

“You think I care?” Chris asked, chuckling. “They offered a buttload of cash to use the island as a dumping ground. It’s how we bought the jumbo jet for season three. Anyway, it’s about time this got cleared up! I’ve got a ton of ideas for next season-”

“About that,” Chef interrupted, pulling out a manilla folder. “Wawanakwa’s still getting cleaned out, but your ‘friends’ got you a little something.”

He slid the folder into Chris’s cell, and the host began reading its contents.

“Woah, an island that’s completely artificial?”

“Mhm. Said they wanted to see if people could tell the difference. Producers want to turn it into a season, so they pulled up a bunch of rejected auditions and made a deal. Season five is underway, and they want you back as host.”

Chris’s lips curled into an enthusiastic, yet devious smile. “It is _on!_ ”

* * *

And on it was. Fourteen new kooky teens were airdropped onto the completely mechanical Pahkitew Island, and sent to rough it as they fought, schemed, and betrayed for a million dollars. It was supposed to be a more low-key season, but it was anything but. The island’s secret got exposed, one of the contestants turned out to be a mad, murderous genius, another tried to steal Chris’s job, yet another wouldn’t stop singing, and what was supposed to be one of the season’s power couples ended up absolutely hating each other by the last episode.

Still, the season ended as it always did, with one camper winning the million; in this case, Shawn the zombie conspiracy nut.

Soon after, the producers came to Chris to brainstorm the next season, which was gonna be big: an All Star season packed with some of the best campers around.

“So, we’ve got our cast,” Chris looked at the chart on the wall and smiled proudly.

Eighteen names had been written down, six from each “generation.” Owen, Gwen, Heather, Sierra, Duncan, and Courtney from the first, Mike, Zoey, Cameon, Scott, Lightning, and Jo from the second, and Shawn, Jasmine, Sky, Dave, Sugar, and Topher. It did take much convincing for Chris to let Topher back on, and he only relented because Scarlett was still in a supermax prison and he really didn’t want to deal with Max anymore.

Below them had been three addendums: Noah, Dawn, and Ella. These three had consistently polled high in fan rankings, despite their less-than-stellar performances. It was agreed that bringing these three in would be a surefire ratings goldmine.

The cast was at twenty-one, but Chris had an idea.

“Hey, do we still have the Drama Machine?”

“That weird robot?” one of the producers asked. “Didn’t you send him home?”

“Hey, he’s still under contract,” Chris explained. “Plus, he’s probably been in there long enough. I say we bring him back.”

The other producers grinned, and they all began snickering devilishly. They even came up with a great theme for the season: heroes vs villains.

Twenty-two campers, eleven heroes and eleven villains. A nice callback to season one.

Camp Wawanakwa was back in pristine shape.

It was time for the biggest season yet.

* * *

**Total Drama All Stars Revamped**

**Episode 1: Heroes Vs Villains, Part 1**

The camera faded in on the familiar sight of a camp which, although slightly dilapidated, looked freshly cleaned and ready for another round of teenage drama and competition.

“In our time here on Total Drama, we’ve seen the wonders of filmmaking, traveled the globe, and dealt with crazy creatures both mutant and robotic,” a charming, yet smug voice narrated as the camera zoomed back to the dock. The voice belonged to, of course, Chris McLean, standing next to a banged-up looking robot. “But now, we’ve decided to return to our roots as we bring back some of our strongest, smartest, most devious players ever, alongside some fan favorites, to come back to Camp Wawanakwa to compete for the ultimate prize: One. Million. Dollars!”

On cue, the robot opened a metal case it was holding, revealing a huge number of green bills.

Chris continued as the robot snapped the case shut again. “As you can probably see, while we were having our fun on Pahkitew Island, the Environmental Protection Agency came to clean this place back up, so the camp is in tip-top shape!”

Just then, the “Camp Wawanakwa” sign behind him creaked and snapped off, crashing into the water below.

“Mostly,” Chris brushed it off. “Who will survive? What wounds will be reopened? And what else is in store for our best-ever campers? Find out, as we begin the most intense season ever! This is… Total. Drama. All Stars!”

* * *

After the intro and theme song ended, the camera faded back in on Chris’s smiling face, the wind whipping his hair all around as the chopping of helicopter blades could be heard in the background.

“Chef’s just brought in our unlucky chosen few!” he announced, yelling to be heard over the noise. “Let’s see who we’ve got, shall we? From Pahkitew Island, please welcome everyone’s favorite paranoid conspiracy theorist, Shawn!”

Up in the sky, a military helicopter was idling around 30 feet above the water. At the open door, Shawn was nervously looking down at the water.

“Wait, so are we not gonna go in closer?” Shawn asked, his eyes wide.

“Nope,” Chef said nonchalantly as he shoved Shawn off the side, sending him plummeting and yelling all the way down.

“Shawn!” a voice inside the helicopter called out. Jasmine ran up to the side to check on her boyfriend.

“The Amazonian Australian, Jasmine!” Chris said as Jasmine jumped down, meeting Shawn in the water.

The scene cut back to the helicopter as Chris continued. “Country bumpkin pageant queen, Sugar!”

“Y’all better get ready!” Sugar yelled from the helicopter. “I got robbed last time, but I ain’t gonna-” She was cut off by Chef shoving her out the door.

“World-renowned gymnast-slash-heartbreaker, Sky!”

“I had a boyfrieeeend!” Sky cried as she plummeted down.

“Shrimpy germaphobe, Dave!

Dave came falling after, yelling “She should’ve told me thaaaaat!”

“The non-stop music box, Ella!”

“~I’m falling to the sea, yet I’m as happy as can be!~” Ella sang as she fell next.

“And the pathetic Chris McLean wannabe, Topher!” Chris announced, with a bit more venom in his voice.

“Wait, I don’t wanna get my hair wet!” Topher whined as Chef pushed him out of the door and down into the water.

“Next, from Revenge of the Island,” Chris continued. “Say hello to multiple Mike!”

Mike yelled as he was shoved out of the chopper.

“Featuring Chester…”

Mike gasped as Chester came forth, one eye closing and his voice becoming older and raspier.

“Svetlana…”

Another gasp, and Svetlana emerged, yelling with glee as she struck a pose.

“Vito…”

Vito came out, yelling and looking ready to fight someone.

“And Manitoba!”

Finally, Manitoba came forth, his face hardening as he yelled “CRIKEEEEEY!” before finally hitting the water.

“Sweet pushover-turned-powerhouse, Zoey!”

Zoey yelled as Chef threw her down after her boyfriend.

“Athletic non-supporter, Lightning!”

“You can’t scare me, Chris!” the jock yelled down, giving a hearty “Sha-BAAAAM!” as he jumped down on his own.

“Bubble-boy Brainiac, Cameron!”

“This is highly illogicaaaal!” Cameron cried, falling toward the water in terror.

“Challenge-throwing dirt farmer, Scott!”

Not in the mood for snark at the moment, Scott merely yelled as he fell to the sea.

“Nature-loving creepy girl, Dawn!”

Dawn followed suit, yelling in fear as well.

“Bossy bruiser, Jo!”

Jo struggled and managed to shove Chef off of her, before turning to the host and yelling “You’re a dead man, McLean!” However, Chef took the opportunity to run up and shoulder check her from behind, sending her to drop to the water.

“And finally, from our original cast, cranky know-it-all CIT, Courtney!”

Courtney came down next, screaming “This is not in my contraaaaact!”

“Courtney’s bestie-turned-boyfriend-stealer, Gwen!”

“He wasn’t her boyfriend at the tiiiiiime!” Gwen yelled as she fell.

“Broody bad boy, and aforementioned stolen boyfriend, Duncan!”

“Bring it on, McLean!” Duncan roared as he fell after Gwen.

“The original devious diva, Heather!”

“I hate Chriiiiis!” Heather yelled.

“My ever-bored former assistant, Noah!”

“This was the worst decision of my liiiiife!” he cried.

“Total Drama superfan, Sierra!”

“For Coooodyyyyyyy!” Sierra proclaimed, jumping from the helicopter on her own.

“Our resident humungous ball of fun, Owen!”

“COWABUNGAAAAAAA!” Owen yelled, jumping off the helicopter and cannonballing down to the waves below, making the twenty teens under him panic and swim away. Though thankfully no one was hit directly, he caused a giant splash that drenched the others even more.

“And… this cool robot!” He gestured to the robot next to him, which rolled up, beeping a triumphant tune.

The contestants all stared at him.

“You’re joking, right?” Noah asked. “Or have you finally gone off the deep end?”

“Nope, this robot is going to compete with you guys,” Chris affirmed. “He was gonna be a personal assistant, but we ended up being a contestant short, so… robot camper! Cool, right?”

“…Welp, this show sure has gotten dumber,” Jo muttered.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Jo  
** “Am I glad to be back? No,” Jo told the camera, her face in a scowl. “But that bubble-boy cheated me out of my million back in season four. This time, I’m gonna win. Mark my words.  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Owen  
** “It’s great to finally be back at Wawanakwa!” Owen said cheerfully. “Some of my best memories were made here! All the friends I made, the first time I kissed a girl, the first time I won a bunch of money…”  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Sky  
** “I let my conflict with Dave distract me last season, and it cost me the million!” Sky explained. “This time, no distractions, no drama, just focus on the game and win!”

* * *

The campers all swam to shore, which was a considerable feat since Chef didn’t exactly drop them off right near the island. Chris walked up to the exhausted group.

“Welcome to Total Drama All Stars!” Chris began. “And congratulations! All of you have been determined as some of our fan-favorites and best competitors in the show! Now, you’ll all be competing for the coveted Total Drama prize of one million dollars, as well as proving yourself as the greatest Total Drama player!”

“Enough with the whole speech thing,” Heather interrupted. “Let’s just get this over with so I can win my money and leave this stupid show behind me.”

“Hah, your money?” Lightning mocked her. “That cash is going to sha-Lightning!”

“Hey, kinda doing a thing here?” Chris stopped them, before continuing with a smile. “This season, the teams have been pre-determined, based on your performance and attitude from your time on the show. It’s gonna be the age-old clash of Heroes vs Villains!”

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Sugar  
** “Well, OBVIOUSLY I’m gonna be on the bad guys’ team!” Sugar said, filing her nails. “And so is that connivin’ she-witch Ella! I know she’s still up to somethin’, and I’m gonna show her who the real queen o' this here pageant is!”  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Gwen  
** “Heroes vs Villains?” Gwen looked nervously at the camera. “Guess Duncan and I won’t be on the same team… unless Duncan suddenly becomes a goodie-two shoes.” She snickered at the thought. “Yeah, like that’d ever happen.”

* * *

“First, for the villains team,” Chris continued. As he said each name, the camera panned to their face. “Heather, Duncan, Scott, Jo, Topher, Sugar, Lightning, Sky, Dave, and Gwen. You’re the Villainous Vultures!”

The emblem of a red, angry vulture’s head appeared over the group as the last three called looked shocked.

“Huh!?” Sky cried. “Why am I on the villain’s team?”

“You know exactly why!” Dave yelled, before turning to Chris. “But, why the heck am _I_ a villain?”

“Well, your whole mess was so… well, messed up last season that we couldn’t decide which one of you was the hero, so you’re both gonna be villains!” Chris explained nonchalantly.

“But what about me!?” Gwen piped up. “I’m not a villain, I’m nice!”

“But you stole my boyfriend and became the new Heather!” Courtney countered, pointing angrily at the goth.

“Yeah, that,” Chris agreed.

“Pah-lease!” Heather laughed. “As if Gwen could ever be the new me!”

“Come on, babe, being bad is cool!” Duncan tried to comfort his girlfriend. “Plus, now we’re on the same team! So that’s good, right?”

“And hey, if it’s any consolation,” Chris cut in. “You guys get the robot.”

Gwen sighed.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Duncan  
** “Man, the only reason I came back to this show was to hang out with Gwen,” Duncan moaned, leaning against the side of the outhouse. “If she’s just gonna sulk the whole time, I might as well quit again.”

* * *

The robot rolled over to join the villains, sliding right up next to Heather.

“Ugh, it’s staring at me,” Heather complained. “Creep.”

“And now the heroes,” Chris turned to the remaining contestants. “Shawn, Jasmine, Ella, Mike, Zoey, Cameron, Dawn, Courtney, Owen, Noah, and Sierra. You’re… the Heroic Hamsters!” An emblem of a yellow hamster with a halo above its head appeared over the second team.

“Erm, how exactly are hamsters heroic?” Jasmine asked.

“Well, it was that or the Heroic Hippos,” Chris replied.

Courtney shrugged. “Hamsters it is, then!”

“Oh, I love hamsters!” Ella chimed in.

“Now then, before we get to the next challenge, I’d like you all to come with me to the cabins for a special surprise,” Chris announced.

Many of the campers were admittedly curious, and followed their host to the cabin area. And what awaited them was something no one expected from Chris.

A huge mansion stood in place of one of the cabins, looking so nice it didn’t even feel real when looking at the scenery around it.

“This is the McLean Spa Hotel!” Chris explained. “During each challenge, not only will you be competing to avoid the campfire ceremony, you’ll be fighting for the right to stay here, with 24-hour masseuse, 5-star chefs, 5-star hotel conditions, pretty much anything you could ever want! We spared no expense!”

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Dave  
** “I will say,” Dave said, smiling. “This is a step up from a damp cave.”

* * *

“In fact,” Chris continued. “As part of your first challenge, you’ll have to find the key to get in! Now, everyone grab your bathing suits, because we’re going cliff diving!”

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Courtney  
** “He’s seriously bringing back the cliff jump from the first challenge?” Courtney asked incredulously. “Ugh. Figures.”

* * *

After the contestants had changed, they were instructed to walk up the pathway to the top of the cliff, where their first challenge would begin.

Over where the Vultures had grouped up, Topher was eying his teammates, before deciding to walk up to Heather.

“Soooo, Heather!” he began, trying to put on the charm. “A Total Drama veteran like yourself must have a lot to teach someone like me.”

“Get lost, newbie,” Heather scoffed, pushing him aside as she quickened her pace. Topher brushed himself off as he sneered at her behind her back.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Topher  
** “So, I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t the most focused back on Pahkitew,” he said, before snapping to attention. “This time, I don’t even want Chris’s stupid hosting gig. My only goal is to win that million dollars, and then I can get my own show! And I have the perfect strategy… especially with so much delicious drama waiting to be exploited.” He began rubbing his palms together, snickering to himself.  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Gwen  
** “So… guess I’m a villain now,” she said, sighing. “You know, I really do feel bad for what happened in London, but how does one slip up just completely throw three whole other seasons of niceness out the window? Well, I guess some people on this team seem alright, like Sky. And hey, aside from Heather, the rest of them can’t be too bad, can they?”  
As her lips curled into a somewhat optimistic smile, the frame shrunk, and became surrounded by shots of Duncan, Sugar, Topher, Heather, Scott, Lightning, Jo, and, strangely, the robot laughing maniacally in front of a wall of fire.

* * *

As they walked, the heroes were being much more amicable with each other.

“Hi, I’m Owen!” the big guy trotted up to Dawn, Noah trudging along behind them. “And this is my pal, Noah!”

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Dawn replied. “I can see that your aura has a lot of pink to it.”

Both boys stopped, confused for a second. “…Is that good?” Owen asked.

“Oh, it’s great! Pink auras contain a lot of positive energy!” Dawn explained.

Owen’s smile returned. “Oh, awesome!”

Noah continued to look bewildered.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Noah  
** Noah cocked his eyebrow. “So, is it just me, or did Chris start picking even weirder contestants since the last time I was on here?”

* * *

Meanwhile, Sierra ran up to Mike and Zoey, who were having their own conversation. “Oh. Em. GEE, you guys! Have you seen how popular Zoke is on the TD message boards?”

The couple looked at her strangely. “…Zoke?” Mike repeated.

“Zoey X Mike!” Sierra said, as if it was obvious. “You two are one of the biggest couples in the fandom!”

Mike and Zoey looked at each other, surprised. “Well, that’s flattering… I guess.”

“Yeah, heh heh…” Mike agreed.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Zoey  
** “It is kinda cool that we’re so popular,” Zoey smiled, rubbing her arm sheepishly. “But Mike and I are still kinda new to the whole ‘couple’ thing, so it’s a little off-putting.”  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Sierra  
** “You have no idea how exciting this new season is!” Sierra excitedly cried. “Three generations of Total Drama veterans coming together for one explosive season! It’s like… Total Drama superfan _heaven!_ My blog is absolutely blowing up right now!” She pulled a smartphone out from her pocket and held it up to the camera, showing a picture of a startled Cody in the shower. “Whoops, wrong screen!” she realized her mistake, and switched over to her blog.

* * *

At last, the contestants reached the top of the cliff, where Chris was waiting for them. “Welcome to the first challenge, All Stars! This season, the challenges will all be throwbacks to some of our best from seasons past. And for the premiere, we decided what better challenge to hearken back to than the original cliff-diving competition!”

“You think Courtney’s gonna chicken out again?” Duncan nudged Gwen, who didn’t really respond.

“Oh, go jump off a cliff,” Courtney sniped.

“Here’s how this challenge is gonna play out,” Chris began. “Each team will send one person at a time to jump off the cliff, where they will search the water for a key. Be careful, though, because we threw _a lot_ of keys down there, and only one key will open the spa hotel! Plus, there are still everyone’s favorite bloodthirsty sharks swimming around!”

Out of morbid curiosity, Scott peered over the side of the cliff, where sure enough, a pair of dark blue fins were circling each other. Suddenly, a face that Scott knew all too well crept out of the water and flashed him a sinister grin.

“AAAAH!” Scott yelped as he stumbled back. “F-f… FANG!”

“…Who?” Dave asked nervously.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Scott  
** “So, maybe I have a huge fear of sharks now,” Scott whimpered, shaking and hugging his knees to his chest. “Especially ones with legs. Can you BLAME me?”

* * *

“After you successfully grab a key and reach the shore,” Chris continued . “You’ll meet up with your team’s designated driver, where you’ll travel back to camp to try your key in one of the baby carriages from season three’s race through Central Park.” Chef pushed up two carriages, one yellow and one red. “If the key doesn’t fit, you’ll have to ride all the way back to wait for your next teammate. But, if you manage to pick the right key, your team wins immunity, and a night at the hotel! I’ll give you all a minute to pick your drivers.

“I volunteer Owen to be our driver,” Courtney said matter-of-factly.

“That’s awfully presumptuous,” Jasmine interjected.

“Do you want to push him in a baby carriage?” the CIT shot back.

“I don’t mind pushing!” Owen said. “I could use the exercise, heh!”

“Well, that was easy,” Shawn shrugged.

Meanwhile, with the Vultures…

“Sha-Lightning’s gonna drive!” Lightning exclaimed.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Jo stomped up to him. “You’d probably just get us lost, jockstrap! I’ll drive!”

“As long as I ain’t the one drivin’!” Sugar huffed. “How am I gonna show off my new swimsuit if I ain’t even gonna get wet?” She gestured to her swimming clothes, a pink, frilly, strapless one-piece and a swim cap covered in white flowers.

“…Right,” Heather scoffed. “Anyway, tomboy’s gonna drive. Any objections?”

The team grumbled, but no one really wanted to do it other than Lightning, whose complaints went unheard.

Owen and Jo were dismissed to go to the bottom of the cliff with their teams’ respective carriages as everyone else prepped themselves to make the jump.

“Our first challenge is almost underway!” Chris turned to the camera. “Which team is gonna spend the night in style, and which team is gonna send one unlucky camper packing? Find out next time, when we return to Total. Drama. All Stars!”

As he said each word of the title, the camera cut back further and further, until it showed the island in its entirety, then faded to black as the episode ended.

* * *

**Camper Status**

**Villainous Vultures:** Dave, Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Jo, Lightning, Robot (you all know who it really is), Scott, Sky, Sugar, Topher.  
 **Heroic Hamsters:** Cameron, Courtney, Dawn, Ella, Jasmine, Mike, Noah, Owen, Shawn, Sierra, Zoey.

 **Eliminated:** None


	2. Heroes Vs Villains, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first challenge for immunity and the spa hotel is underway! One contestant makes a shocking return, while others begin forming alliances and hatching schemes. And one unlucky camper will be flushed out of the race for the million.

**Episode 2: Heroes vs Villains, Part 2**

“Last time on Total Drama All Stars,” Chris narrated as a shot of the island faded in. Scenes from the previous episode began to play as he continued. “At long last, we returned to Camp Wawanakwa after it was finally cleaned of toxic radiation, along with 21 of our greatest and most beloved contestants ever… and a robot. Then they were divided into teams: the divine Heroic Hamsters, and the devious Villainous Vultures! Some wore their status as a badge of honor, while others… not so much. Then, we showed them their motivation to win challenges this season: the McLean Spa Hotel, which they’ll have to find the key for to win their first challenge: a return to season one’s cliff dive competition!” The camera cut back to Chris as he closed out the opening recap. “Who’s gonna make the jump? And who’s not gonna make it at all? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! All Stars!”

* * *

_As the theme song started up, shots of cameras popping out of random places around camp, alongside scattered cleaning supplies, happened in succession in time with the music._

_“Dear mom and dad I’m doing fine, you guys are on my mind.”_

_As the camera rushed through the docks and the camp, Chris could be seen descending onto the island in a helicopter. The camera continued to zoom past, through the trees, and up the cliff, before diving down into the water below._

_“You asked me what I wanted to be…”_

_Owen, as usual, was swimming around below the water, but stopping in his tracks as he saw Cameron, curled in a fetal position and holding his breath, float up through the frame and toward the surface._

_“And now I think the answer’s plan to see!”_

_As Cameron finally reached the surface, he was pulled out by Sky, who was riding a canoe. The camera then began following a bird as it flew back inland._

_“I wanna be famous!”_

_The bird flew into the forest, where it and a flock of other birds gathered around a singing Ella, as Dawn looked on and interacted with a deer who had also come to Ella’s song. However, the animals were scared off when someone threw a dead fish, beaning Ella in the head and sending her to the ground. The camera panned over to show Sugar, who had done the deed, cackling maniacally until she got hit in the side by the running deer, knocking her over as well._

_“I wanna live close to the sun…”_

_The camera panned to the top of the waterfall, where Shawn and Jasmine were in a canoe, desperately trying to row against the current until they finally fell over the edge._

_“So pack your bags, ‘cause I’ve already won!”_

_The shot cut to Alejandro doing yoga on a log, unaware of Shawn and Jasmine falling behind him, until the canoe crashed onto him, also breaking the log he was on._

_“Everything to prove, nothing in my way! I’ll get there one day!”_

_Heather laughed at his plight in front of the confessional outhouse, until Scott and Dave ran by, both being chased by Fang._

_“’Cause I wanna be famous!”_

_Chef was preparing a pot of slop in the mess hall, as he watched Lightning and Jo playing rock paper scissors at the table behind him. Lightning managed to win, causing him to pump his fists in the air and Jo to pound the table in anger. Next to them, Topher was brushing his hair, until he noticed the camera, upon which he flashed a winning smile. Chef then proceeded to fling a handful of slop into his face._

_“Na na nana na na, nanana na na, na nanananana!”_

_The camera panned out to the beach, where Duncan was caught between Gwen and Courtney, and he was now sweating bullets, trying to find a way out as both girls glared at him._

_“I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!”_

_The camera swept over to Sierra on the dock, as she took pictures of everything she could with her cell phone. She finally noticed the camera, and snapped a picture, the flash enveloping the whole screen._

_“I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!”_

_The flash transitioned to the light of a fire, as Mike and Zoey tried to share a moment at the bonfire area. However, they were interrupted by Chris popping up between them, flashing a smile at the camera and putting his arms around the couple as the music winded down. The camera zoomed out to show the other campers, looking on with either contempt or indifference, whistling the final notes of the song as the intro ended._

* * *

The episode faded back on Chris as he stood on top of the cliff with the two teams. “Welcome back to Total Drama All Stars. To recap, our challenge today works like this: each team sends someone over the cliff and into shark-infested waters, to try and grab one of the many keys on the ocean floor. Once the jumper has their key, they must meet up with Owen for the Heroes, or Jo for the Villains, and hop in a baby carriage to be wheeled back to camp, where they must put their key in the door to the McLean Spa Hotel. Whoever finds the right key will win immunity for their team, and a night in the hotel!”

He turned to the contestants. “You guys ready?”

Jasmine had entered a sprinting position, while Lightning stood at the ready next to her.

Chris blasted his air horn as he yelled “GO!”

The first two jumpers dashed off, with Jasmine’s longer legs allowing her to reach the cliff before Lightning and jump off, though the jock followed suit soon after.

“You got this, Jasmine!” Shawn encouraged.

“Get that key, idiot!” Heather yelled.

Jasmine hit the water, briefly popping her head above the surface for air before diving back down to search the seafloor. Sure enough, numerous keys of all shapes and sizes were scattered about the area, as were multiple sharks. She felt the water splash around her, signaling that Lightning had just hit the ocean.

Jasmine quickly swam down to the floor, deciding not to waste time and just grabbing the first key she could. As she prepared to swim back to shore, she noticed a shark swimming right towards her, causing her to almost let the air out of her mouth in shock. She steeled herself, and as soon as the shark came close, she kicked it as hard as she could in the nose, stunning it and allowing her to escape.

However, the distraction had allowed Lightning to grab his own key, and by the time Jasmine had surfaced, he was hopping into Jo’s carriage with a hearty “Sha-BAM!”

Jasmine hurried over and hopped into her team’s carriage, having to hug her knees to her chest. “GO!” she shouted, prompting Owen to push as hard as he could, but he could barely keep pace with Jo, who was now in a healthy lead.

Back on the cliff, Mike was stretching his arms, preparing to jump, when Zoey came up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Good luck out there!” she said, as a goofy grin spread across Mike’s face.

“Ah… th-thanks!” he stammered, stumbling back toward the cliff and not noticing that he was about to bump into Sky. By the time the two noticed each other, it was too late; they fell back over the cliff and down into the water below.

Sky hit the water first, and just as she resurfaced, sputtering and gasping for air, Fang resurfaced right next to her, grinning deviously. However, before he could do anything, Mike crashed down onto his head, sending them both down into the water.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Mike  
** Mike was wincing and rubbing his head with an ice pack. “So, that could’ve gone better… remind me to apologize to Sky later.”

* * *

Mike and Sky gasped as the surfaced for air. Sky glared at Mike, who only laughed nervously, until she noticed two sharks looming behind them. Mike noticed it too, and they both began screaming.

But before the sharks could do anything, the one of the left was slammed in the head by a rock flung from above. The two campers looked up to see Zoey, using the necklace Mike gave her as a makeshift sling, currently spinning a second rock around rapidly.

“Sorry!” she called down, flinging the other rock onto the other shark. “Sorry again!”

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Sky  
** “Remind me not to mess with Zoey any time soon,” she said, bewildered.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jo was pushing a confident Lightning through the woods.

“Alright, jockstrap, you don’t like me, and I definitely don’t like you,” Jo sneered. “But as much as I hate to say it, you and I are two of the strongest people on our team. So, what do you say to an alliance?”

“Alright,” Lightning replied nonchalantly. “But we get to be called ‘Team Lightning’, sha-dig?”

“Sure, whatever,” Jo said noncommittally.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Jo  
** “Last time, I got cheated because the Beanpole got the drop on me,” she explained, still clearly angry over it. “And while I’ll admit, very nice play, I’m not gonna make that same mistake. If I’m gonna make an alliance, I need it to be with someone who’s too stupid to pull that sort of thing.”

* * *

They had reached the campsite, where Lightning was currently trying (and failing) to shove his key into the lock.

“Man!” he huffed. “Stupid key won’t go in! Come on, key! Win this for the Lightning Squad!”

“It’s the wrong key, Brightning!” Jo mocked him as Owen and Jasmine finally arrived, the former panting heavily as his teammate hopped out and sprinted over to the door.

“No luck,” she said, running back to the carriage as Lightning and Jo finally took off. Sure enough, her key ended up being to small. “Hey, you don’t look so hot, mate.”

“Oh…” Owen could barely speak between pants. “I’m… I’m fine! Let’s head back!”

Still worried for him, Jasmine nonetheless hopped back in the carriage as Owen turned around and ran the other direction.

* * *

Back at the cliff, Mike and Sky had successfully retrieved their keys, and were waiting anxiously for their teammates to arrive at the shore.

“Come on… what’s taking them so long?” Mike asked, growing more impatient. Suddenly, his eyes reeled back and he gasped. His posture then lurched forward, his lips curling inward and one eye shutting as he became Chester. “Dern kids don’t know how to drive a stroller!? Back in my day, we knew the value of knowing how to take care of the young’ns! Oh, kids these days have no respect for how hard parenting is!”

Sky stared blankly as Chester gasped, becoming Mike once more. “Uh…” she stammered, trying to process what just happened.

“Oh, right, uh… I have Dissociative Identity Disorder,” Mike explained sheepishly. “That was Chester, one of my alters.”

“…Right,” Sky said, choosing not to dive further.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Sky  
** Sky scratched her head, still trying to understand. “So, were the people on this show always this strange?”

* * *

Finally, Jo reappeared, with Owen surprisingly managing to show up not long after. The riders switched out, and Lightning and Jasmine began running back up to the top of the cliff.

Speaking of the top of the cliff, Duncan was preparing to make the jump. “Alright, this is gonna be awesome,” he boasted. “Right, babe!” He turned expectantly to Gwen, who seemed lost in thought about something. “Yo, babe?”

“Huh?” Gwen was snapped out of her daze. “Sorry, I was… nevermind, go grab a key, genius.” She gave him a light shove as she grinned at him, and after a quick peck on the cheek, he howled as he ran and jumped off the cliff.

On his way, he made a point to give a quick glare to Courtney, who was notably peeved.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Courtney  
** Courtney growled, clenching her fists. “As if it was bad enough that Duncan cheated on me, now he seems determined to rub it in my face!” She calmed down, but only by a bit. “I’m just glad I don’t have to be on a team with them now. They can go and get themselves voted off right now for all I care.”  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Gwen  
** “Look, I didn’t come back to try and win the money,” Gwen admitted to the camera. “The real reason I agreed to this season was to try and patch things up with Courtney. I still feel awful about everything that went down back in season three. Like, I still really like Duncan, but we did screw Courtney over pretty badly.” She sighed.

* * *

Unbeknownst to any of them, Topher was observing the situation with intrigue.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Topher  
** “So, Gwen, Duncan, and Courtney,” he began, leaning bac with his hands behind his head and his legs crossed. “One of the best-known drama cesspools this side of reality TV. Those three are a ticking time bomb of repressed anger and hatred. And when that bomb explodes…” he let out a small chuckle. “Well, you’ll see.”

* * *

“No good,” Sky lamented as she hopped back into her team’s cart. Owen’s fatigue was becoming more obvious, as he hadn’t even arrived at camp yet. “Let’s head back!”

Jo groaned as she pushed Sky back through the woods, with Owen and Mike only arriving shortly after the Vultures had left the campgrounds.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Owen?” Mike asked before he even stepped out of the carriage.

“I’m fine!” Owen tried to reassure Mike, but he was obviously already worn out. “I could use the exercise anyway, heheh!”

Mike wanted to argue, but time was of the essence. He hopped out and ran to the door, but unfortunately, the key was just a bit too big. “Dang, we’ll have to go back.”

Owen grunted as he began pushing the cart back to the cliff, his speed clearly worsening.

Back at the clifftop, Noah had reluctantly jumped off to follow Duncan, leaving both teams to wait for the next switch.

“So, you believe in an impending zombie apocalypse?” Cameron asked Shawn, who was stretching to be the next jumper after Noah. “Fascinating! I’d love to pick at your brain a bit to-”

Shawn snapped to face Cameron with terror in his eyes. “Brains!? You’re not getting to my brains!” Cameron jumped back, startled.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Cameron  
** “Shawn’s kinemortophobia is extremely interesting from a psychological standpoint,” Cameron said, rubbing his shoulder. “Though from every other standpoint, it’s very scary.”  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Shawn  
** “Don’t think that just because this place got cleaned up that the zombie threat isn’t an issue!” Shawn exclaimed, crossing his arms. “In fact, summer camps are the number three most likely places for the undead apocalypse to start! Right after secret government research labs and, strangely enough, any Walmart.”

* * *

Duncan emerged from the water with a key, just as Jo came back with Sky. The two swapped, and Jo was pushing Duncan back to camp. Noah waited anxiously for his teammate to return, only to find Mike, using a stick like an oar along the ground, roll up to the beach, with Owen further behind, sweating and panting like a dog.

“Just…” Owen puffed. “Give me a sec… catch my breath…”

Back at the top, Shawn was about to jump when Ella put her hand on his shoulder. “Please, allow me!”

“Uh… alright then,” Shawn backed off as Ella sprang to the edge of the cliff.

Sugar, seeing this, pushed Topher (who was also about to jump) out of the way, dashing towards Ella, desperate not to be outdone. Before the songbird could reach the edge, Sugar jumped off, startling Ella and making her stumble off the cliff.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Sugar  
** “Yeah, Ella got what was comin’ to her last season,” she said angrily. “But there ain’t no way I’m gonna give her another chance. This time, she’s gonna get G-A-U-N, _gone!_ ”  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Ella  
** “I truly admire Sugar’s drive,” Ella told the camera happily. “But it pains me to see her placed with the villains’ team! But, as my grandmother always told me, a villain is just a hero who hasn’t realized it yet! Or… was that about friends?” She rubbed her chin, trying to remember.

* * *

Sugar and Ella hit the water at roughly the same time, both immediately searching for keys at the seafloor. Just as Ella was about to reach for one, Sugar dove to grab it instead, knocking into her rival and darting for the shore. Ella floated back up to the top, coughing for air, when Fang surfaced alongside her, glaring at her menacingly.

Ella was terrified, but only for a moment, as inspiration struck her once more.

_“~This challenge of keys is a walk in the park;_

_When I get to do it with my friend, the shark!~”_

Fang blinked, then nodded approvingly, grabbing Ella and hoisting her onto his back. He safely carried her to shore, as the others at the top of the cliff stared dumbfounded.

Especially Scott.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Scott  
** “Why the heck didn’t that freak shark ever treat _me_ like that!?” he asked indignantly.

* * *

Duncan was trying to jostle the key, but alas, it wasn’t turning. “Crap, too small.”

“Nice going, Dud-can,” Jo snarked.

Duncan snickered. “Ha, good one.”

Jo cocked an eyebrow. “Uh… thanks?”

Meanwhile, Owen had finally regained some stamina, and he and Noah had arrived at the campsite.

“What!?” Jo yelled. “How the heck did you guys catch up so fast?”

“You just have to know how to motivate him,” Noah smirked, holding up a hot dog. “Just like a carrot on a stick.” Owen grabbed for the hot dog, but Noah held it away from his grasp. “Ah, ah, ah! After the challenge, you’ll get the hot dog.”

“Aw… okay,” Owen resigned himself as Noah ran up to the door. “Crap, wrong key.” He hopped back in the carriage, holding out the hot dog, which Owen ran after with renewed vigor.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Noah  
** “Owen’s kind of like my dog,” Noah explained. “Sure, he eats all your food and farts all the time, but at the end of the day, you still like having him around.” He sat up, losing his smirk. “But to get real for a second, I got picked as one of the ‘fan favorites’. I guess Chris wanted to pander to the viewers or something. But that means I’m in the big leagues, so I’ve gotta bring my A-game to this season.”

* * *

Against all odds, Owen and Jo managed to reach the beach at right around the same time, swapping out their passengers and darting back towards the camp.

Back at the top, Shawn sprinted and jumped off the cliff, as the Vultures started bickering.

“You’re insane if you think you’re gonna get me to go down there!” Scott yelled.

“Well, _I’m_ not gonna do it,” Heather replied, glaring at the farm boy. “I’ve done enough swimming with sharks on this stupid show!”

“You have any idea how long my hair took me this morning?” Topher shouted, pointing at his styled quiff. “If this gets any wetter, it’s gonne be ruined!”

“Someone’s gotta do it!” Gwen yelled at all of them. “And something tells me that robot isn’t water proof.” She pointed her thumb back at their metal teammate, who had done very little but roll around and beep occasionally.

“You do it, then!” Heather turned to face Gwen, pointing right in her nose.

“Get out of my face,” the goth said pointedly, slapping Heather’s arm away.

The two glared, then Heather lunged at Gwen. The latter stepped out of the way as the former stumbled forward, accidentally slamming into the robot. The momentum caused the robot to roll backward, reaching the edge of the cliff. Right after giving one last nervous “beep boop” it careened and plummeted down to the water below.

Shawn resurfaced, having grabbed a key, when he noticed the robot falling right towards him. He yelped, trying to dive out of the way before slamming right into one of the non-mutated sharks. As he screamed, the shark opened wide to bite a chunk out of the boy…

…as the robot crashed right on top of it, inadvertently saving a rattled Shawn.

As the zombie nut gathered his bearings and swam back to shore, the robot sank like a rock to the bottom of the ocean.

_…tener que salir…_

Two sharks lunged, chomping on the metal husk as the robot began sparking and rumbling.

_Tengo que salir de aquí…_

The robot couldn’t take much more. Cracks began growing as the sharks finally noticed the machine was about to blow.

_¡Saldré de esta máquina!_

An ear-splitting BOOM filled the area as the water erupted in a pillar above where the robot had sunk. And when the water fell back to the ocean, one figure remained, his battered body and shaggy hair not enough to hide his incredibly striking and familiar face.

Alejandro.

“WHAAAAAAT!?” Heather screamed, as all of the other contestants gaped. “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Alejandro**  
Alejandro sat on the outhouse seat, with his clothes much dirtier and his hair much longer than when he had last appeared on the show. “Two seasons. _Two entire seasons_ of Chris leaving me in that robot to ‘heal’. Thankfully, he finally managed to remember I existed and allowed me to compete on this show as a ridiculous robot. But now I’m free of my steel prison, and mark my words: the million dollars is _mine_ this time.”

* * *

Alejandro landed on back on the sand, a key in his palm, surrounded by a stunned Owen, Ella, Shawn, Jo, and Sugar, until his legs wobbled, gave out, and sent him faceplanting into the sand.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Alejandro  
** “As soon as my legs wake up.”

* * *

Recovering from her shock quicker than most, Jo ran over, grabbed Alejandro by the shoulders and hoisted him up onto the carriage.

“Enough showing off, La Cucaracha, we’ve got a Spa Hotel to win!”

Owen shook his own shock off as Shawn hopped into the cart, yelling, “Go, go, go!”

Jo and Owen began speeding off toward the campgrounds, and while Owen was still making impressive time, Jo’s athleticism still gave the Vultures the lead, allowing them to reach the spa hotel first.

“I commend your efforts, heroes!” Alejandro called to the other team as Jo bridal-carried him up to the door. “But it seems that our game has ended!”

He inserted the key into the door, and turned…

…And the key didn’t budge.

“After all that, you didn’t even grab the right key!?” Jo yelled.

“Let’s just head back, _si_?” Alejandro asked calmly, though he also seemed annoyed. Shawn ran up to the door, but just like Alejandro’s, it wasn’t the right one.

“Looks like we’re still doing this,” Shawn groaned.

* * *

On the cliff, Dave was nervously peering over the cliff. “I… I’m just not sure it’s safe, y’know?”

“Didn’t the other island try to kill you or something last season?” Scott asked. “Just jump already!”

“I wasn’t there for that!” Dave protested. “That’s it, I’m not gonna-”

He was cut off by Heather shoving him with one hand, sending him falling over the edge.

“Holy-” Gwen startled. “You can’t just do that!”

“Um, hello? Villains?” Heather replied, as Sierra jumped off the cliff behind her.

Dave screamed the whole way down, right up until he hit the water. Sputtering, he raised his head back up above the water. Then he noticed the two shark fins circling him.

“Uh…” he stammered, eyes wide. “N-n-nice sharks…”

One lunged at him, and he instinctively dove, grabbing the first key he could and swimming back to the surface in record time.

Even as he reached the shore, he kept screaming.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Dave  
** Hugging his knees to his chest, he kept screaming.

* * *

Sierra swam back to shore with her own key, waiting next to a (still screaming) Dave, when she noticed something in his hands: a small key, with the head shaped exactly like Cody’s head.

Sierra squealed even louder than Dave was screaming, managing to startle him out of it.

“OHMYGOSH _CODYKEY!_ ” she rapidly screamed. “CANWETRADEPLEASEPLEASEPLEEEEASE!”

Dave stared at her, before slowly handing her the key he had grabbed, as she quickly took it and threw her own team’s key at his chest.

“Come on, shrimpy!” Jo yelled as she ran onto the beach, dumping Alejandro onto the sand as if she were using a wheelbarrow.

“R-right! Let’s go!” He quickly hopped into the carriage. Jo turned around and ran back into the woods as Owen and Shawn arrived.

Shawn couldn’t even get his feet on the ground when Sierra shoved him off, hopping in the cart herself. “Let’s ride!” she exclaimed.

Against all odds, Owen had managed to somewhat catch up to Jo, and had arrived at the camp shortly after the Vultures. Dave was running toward the spa hotel when Sierra sprinted past him, sending him to the ground in the process.

She jammed the Cody key and turned, but the lock wouldn’t turn with it.

“Oh no, Cody-key’s too small!” she whined as Dave, rubbing his head, walked up to the door.

He put in the key, turned, opened the door, and turned back to Jo. “Alright, let’s head back.”

He was only met with shocked stares. He looked at Owen, Sierra, and Jo, then back to the door, then back at the others.

“Oh. OH! HA HA! YES!”

“Game over!” Chris announced over the loudspeakers. “The Villainous Vultures win!”

Back at the other side of the island, the other Vultures cheered, some pulling faces at the disappointed Hamsters.

“Heroic Hamsters,” Chris walked up to everyone in person. “While the Vultures get acquainted with five-star luxury tonight, you guys will have to get acquainted with the bonfire, some marshmallows, and for one of you, a one way ticket home.”

The Hamsters all glanced at each other nervously.

* * *

 **CONFESSIONAL: Courtney  
** She groaned, slamming her fist on the side wall. “Seriously!? What a Team of Heroes this turned out to be.”  
 **CONFESSIONAL: Zoey  
** “Well, we all tried our best, right?” she asked, clearly trying to be as optimistic as she could, until she sighed and hung her head.

* * *

Later that night, while the Villains were being treated to a five-star dinner, the Heroes were gathered in the mess hall to receive some of Chef’s slop.

“Well…” Jasmine sighed as Chef plopped a (debatably) healthy serving of mystery meat that might not even have been meat. “At least we don’t have to forage this time.”

“You kidding?” Shawn said, sliding next to her. “I’d rather live out of the garbage than eat this. And I have.”

Jasmine cocked an eyebrow, before giggling slightly.

Back at the table, everyone was eating sullenly an silently.

“Well, I’m proud of all of you!” Ella decided to try and cheer everyone up. “Why don’t we spend this time celebrating with a song?”

She opened her mouth to sing, but Noah cut her off with, “you know, this might not be the best time.”

“We may as well share who we’re all voting for,” Dawn suggested. “I’d rather it all be out in the open than simply hiding our true intentions.”

“Fine,” Courtney started. “I’m voting for Owen.”

“What!?” Owen dropped the spoon that was about to meet his lips, splattering the unidentified goo around his plate.

“Your slow driving was letting the villains get the lead on us!” Courtney explained.

“Didn’t you volunteer Owen to push the carriage?” Cameron asked.

“That was…” Courtney tried to find an excuse. “That was a lapse in judgement.”

“And he totally picked it back up!” Shawn came to the big guy’s defense. “Heck, he managed to keep up with Jo towards the end!”

“Well, if anyone’s got any better ideas, I’d like to hear them,” Courtney asked, rhetorically.

Suddenly, everyone’s attention was caught by the sound of someone entering the mess hall, namely, Heather.

“Don’t you have a high-class meal to eat right now?” Noah asked flatly.

“Well, obviously,” Heather scoffed. Her mouth then curled into a sly grin. “But I also wanted to give a _huge_ thanks to Sierra.”

Sierra, who was admiring her Cody key, looked up at the mention of her name.

“What’s she talking about, Sierra?” Zoey asked.

“Oh, Dave told us all about how you traded the key that gave us the win for that dweeb key,” Heather explained, clearly enjoying turning the girl’s team against her.

“You did… _what!?”_ Courtney grunted through gritted teeth.

Sierra’s eyes darted around the room as she laughed nervously.

“Funny story…”

* * *

The sun had set, and the eleven heroes sat at the bonfire pit. Despite the tense atmosphere, they all knew where this would be going.

What had been unexpected, however, was the set of stands where the eleven villains sat.

“Like the new nosebleeds section?” Chris asked, gesturing to the winning team. “This season, the winning team gets to sit in on the losers booting someone! Fun, right?”

Courtney scowled as she saw Gwen and Duncan.

"Before we get things started," the host said. "I'd like a volunteer from the winning team."

Lightning immediately stood up. "You got your man, Chris!"

"Alright, Lightning steps up!" Chris chuckled to himself, and continued. "While your team gets to live it up at the htel, you'll get to spend the night on Boney Island, in exile!"

"Sha-WHAT!?" Lightning cried, his enthusiasm completely vanishing.

"You'll probably also want to know that there's a McLean Brand Invincibility Statue hidden on the island," Chris elaborated. "After every challenge, one of the winners will get to spend the night on Boney Island and try to find the idol."

"That would have been good to know earlier," Scott said, frustrated.

“Now, I’m sure you all know how this works,” Chris began, turning to the Hamsters. “Head to the confessional one by one, and vote for whoever deserves to get kicked off most.”

One after the other, the Heroes got up and walked to the outhouse, where they wrote down and showed their vote to the camera, and then returned to the bonfire.

Once everyone had finished, Chris returned with a plate of ten marshmallows, one for each surviving camper.

“When I call your name, you’re safe, per the usual.”

He hesitated, before calling the first name.

“…Dawn.”

Dawn gave a small smile, lightly catching her marshmallow.

“Jasmine. Cameron.”

The two caught their marshmallows as well, though Cameron stumbled for a second.

“Mike, Ella, Shawn.”

All three caught their marshmallows.

“Zoey. Noah.”

The two received their rewards, with the latter silently noting that this was actually the first time this had happened.

“And… Owen.”

“Yes!” Owen finally released his breath as Chris threw him his marshmallow, which he caught in his mouth.

“Courtney and Sierra, the two of you are on the chopping block tonight.”

The two girls eyed each other.

“Courtney, you can’t seem to shake that bossy streak, can’t you?” Chris asked.

Courtney rolled her eyes. “It’s called being a leader.”

“And Sierra… really? An entire challenge for that?” He gestured to the Cody key, which Sierra was still holding onto.

Dave snickered.

“It’s all I have to remember him by!” Sierra tried to explain.

“Whatever,” Chris continued. “The final marshmallow goes to…”

The camera switched between Courtney, who was looking more frustrated than anything, and Sierra, who was hugging Cody key to her face for luck.

“…Courtney. Sorry, Sierra, but it’s time to go!”

Sierra hung her head, as she had already expected this.

“Well hey,” Chris walked up to the eliminated girl. “At least you get to demonstrate this season’s new elimination method.”

The scene shifted to the dock, where the weirdest addition of all had been installed: a giant, dirty, frankly smelly toilet. The remaining Hamsters cringed as the stared at it.

“Behold!” Chris announced. “The Flush of Shame!”

“That’s just… _wrong…_ ” Mike grimaced.

Sierra’s head popped out of the toilet, having been tossed in by Chef.

“Any last words, Sierra?” Chris asked.

“I’m just glad I can go home and see my Cody!” she exclaimed.

“Yikes,” Chris chuckled. “I’m sure he’s gonna be thrilled about that.” He pressed a button on a remote, and the toilet began to flush, sending Sierra twirling and sinking into the pipeline.

“I’M COMING, CODY-KINS!” she cried, right as she shot down the pipe and out of the game.

“And that’s one loser down, twenty future losers to go!” Chris announced, turning back to the camera. “Who’s it gonna be next? What kinds of drama will rear its ugly head? Find out when we come back next time, for Total. Drama. All Stars!”

As Chris closed the episode, the camera faded to black.

* * *

**VOTES:**

**Cameron  
** “I could easily vote for Courtney on the basis that she’s… pretty mean for a hero. But she is a leader, and one that we could really use right now. I’m voting for Sierra.”

 **Courtney  
** “As if it’s not obvious. What does she even see in that scrawny pervert anyway?”

 **Dawn  
** “Sierra’s aura reads as very troubled. She clearly misses Cody a lot, and I don’t think being reminded of him that way very good for her mental state.”

 **Ella  
** “I feel so saddened that I must vote someone off! Alas, I must vote for Courtney. Sierra’s actions did lose us the challenge, but Courtney needs to find her own positive tune.”

 **Jasmine  
** “What kind of boneheaded move was that!? As much as Courtney rubs me the wrong way, I gotta go with Sierra.”

 **Mike  
** “Yeah, I think I’m gonna go with the crowd and vote for Sierra on this one. Why did she think it was a good – GASP – Darn teens today, can’t get romance off the brain fer nuthin’!”

 **Noah  
** “It’s between Courtney and the creepy blogger girl. And frankly, where Courtney at least has a brain rattling around in there, I had enough blog talk back on the plane. I'm voting Sierra.”

 **Owen  
** “I’m voting for Courtney. Since when was she so mean? …Oh yeah, she was always kinda mean, wasn’t she?”

 **Shawn  
** “Sierra. She’s more ‘alive’ than anyone I’ve ever met. And somehow, she scares me almost as much as the undead.”

 **Sierra  
** “Grr… why can’t Courtney see that what Cody and I have is special? She’s getting my vote.”

 **Zoey  
** “I think I’m gonna have to go with my gut… so I’m voting for Courtney. If… if that’s okay with everyone.”

 **Final Tally:  
** Sierra: 7 (Cameron, Courtney, Dawn, Jasmine, Mike, Noah, Shawn)  
Courtney: 4 (Ella, Owen, Sierra, Zoey)

* * *

**Camper Status**

**Villainous Vultures:** Alejandro, Dave, Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Jo, Lightning, Scott, Sky, Sugar, Topher **  
Heroic Hamsters:** Cameron, Courtney, Dawn, Ella, Jasmine, Mike, Noah, Owen, Shawn, Zoey

 **Eliminated:  
22nd: **Sierra


End file.
